Selena Gomez Survived Social Media and, With Her New Music, Is Ready to Leave Darkness Behind

Selena Gomez, who appears on our 2023 Hollywood cover, spent years feeling distressed by her Disney-cultivated façade. But since her 2018 bipolar diagnosis, and her decision to share her mental health struggles in last year’s Apple TV+ documentary Selena Gomez: My Mind & Me, the singer, actor, and producer (Selena + Chef, Only Murders in the Building) has felt liberated. Ahead, excerpts from a conversation about fears, self-esteem, and freedom.

Selena Gomez: I definitely feel free of it. Sometimes I get triggered. It’s not that I’m ashamed of my past, it’s just that I’ve worked so hard to find my own way. I don’t want to be who I was. I want to be who I am. In the documentary, someone close to you questions your decision to go public with your bipolar diagnosis. Why did you go forward anyway?

I’m just so used to censoring myself that it was (a) me wanting to let go and (b) if they’re telling me to be quiet about it, that’s not good because that’s genuinely not the place I’m in anymore. Maybe it was weird and uncomfortable for other people, and obviously I was worried, but I think it finally allowed me to start being open about everything. It’s not that I was kind of sad—I actually have things that are chemically imbalanced in my brain, and I need to understand what that is, take care of it, and nurture it. I’m not ashamed of it. I don’t ever feel, even for five seconds, that I’m crazy. My thoughts tend to ruminate, but it’s up to me to be proud of who I am and to take care of myself.

I don’t want people to ever have anybody tell them, “Don’t say that because it’ll seem bad. You won’t get this job or that boy or that girl or whatever.” I guess I was rebelling.